NB: This is delivered a day late so as not tip Mrs Al off about her Valentines pressie.
Well I have been quiet for a couple of weeks now mainly due to work In Haiti but an interesting conundrum came up in Haiti that feeds neatly into The Logistics Project Valentines Day Special. Nomenclature.......yeah..... now you are feeling romantic, eh?
Nomenclature is more easily defined as "what we call stuff". Working with an amazing Information technology team in Haiti we juggled ideas for naming conventions of products. Don't switch off yet, it will get more interesting. I am from the formal back ground of the RAF which requires things to be described noun, adjective, adjectival clause describing use.......socks, green, for the wearing of....... Paper, blue, abrasive engineering ...... So ingrained is it that people actually order, Beer, Lager, for the drinking of....admittedly they are trying to be funny but the nomenclature is a way of life. In Haiti we are trying to define a catch all nomenclature system to cover all line items in a project store for an IT system. Ask five people to define the same item and you will end up with five similar but distinct answers which leads to people not being able to find things on the IT system or worse still to be recorded as two or three different items.
So how does this become a Valentine Special......make up that is how. Mrs Al of The Logistics Project may have mentioned that she wanted Benefit make up should my travels take me through any duty free stores between Bath and Port au Prince. Sadly it just hadn’t happened and in a bleary eyed 4am moment on a Virgin Atlantic flight I mixed up “smokin eyes” with “big beautiful eyes” and “bad gal eyeliner” with “bad gal lashes” mascara. Now Mrs AoTLP was very gracious about this but I resolved that Valentine’s day should be my chance to get this right.
Monday afforded an opportunity for me to head to London for a quick chat to a lady about Malawi, but allowed me to the wares and fares of Oxford Street; London’s premier shopping street. This is the cause of true love as I am not really one for department store perfume and make up department. I don’t know how anyone can discern one fragrance from the next. The second I entered Selfridges (who incidentally don’t stock Benefit in case you are using this blog for factual content) my eyes start to water ......maybe even bleed with the onslaught of aroma. The odoriferous vapours claw at my throat in the same way incense in a sudanese indoor market....no offense intended Messrs Gaultier, Boss and Ms Chanel. What perfume does have going for it is a naming convention; at the simplest level Eau de Parfum (EdP) will be more concentrated than Eau de Toilette (EdT) and in turn Eau de Cologne (EdC) although if you research it further you can get perfume extract, esprit de parfum at the stronger end and perfume mist and splash at the weaker...so the infallible Wikipedia tells me.
I should point out that chemicals applied to my skin and I don’t really mix. If I ever use Deet to deter mosquitos I can taste it in my mouth within second and I am hallucinating in a wibbly wobbly rainbow world with in minutes.....and not in a “hey aren’t we all so groovy and lovely way”..... more in a nauseous “wow bad trip bummer man” I need my forehead spnge with cool water in a darkened room way. So by the time I reach the Benfit counter at Debenhams I am mildly disorientated, my eyes are watering like I have been watching Bambi’s mother die and I can taste every Sandalwood top note in the building, despite trying to hold my breath for the entire duration. I tell Melinna, (who was very helpful should Debenhams HR read this), I want the number 10 bronzer........oh no nomenclature failure!!! No less than 8 boxes appear on the counter, two tones, single powder tones, round boxes cubes the works...... I want the RAF nomenclature system back, bronzer, shade 10, for the applying to face in novelty cube box with retro graphic.....reporting for duty sir!!!!!!!! I battled through and guessed pretty well making up for my inflight blunder but gents know your nomenclature before leaving for the make up counters next valentines day. It is a logistics principle.